Exposing the idol of security
Living in a place like Central Asia is a great way for God to show me what my idols are.
Idols – those things that fill the deepest longings in my heart instead of God. Those things that subtly creep into my life, and I start to look to them to fulfil my dreams and longings instead of looking to God.
I’m realising that in my life one of my “idols” is feeling secure. I long to be secure in my home and the country I live in. I long for it for myself and as a mother, for my kids.
But living in Central Asia is anything but secure! We may not get our visas renewed next week and need to leave the country, or the government could so easily find a reason to make us leave.
There’s an underlying fear in this region because of all the political instability going on around us. The last time we tried to leave the country as a family, my husband was stopped at the border because of his passport being incorrectly stamped by an immigration official the last time he entered. What followed was a nightmarish two days of being separated and enduring questioning by the police and paying fines.
Some days, I struggle to find my hope and security in God. Some days, I’m anxious all day long as I drive past police blocks and pass emigration police as I walk down our street. There are days that I long for a little house “back home” where I’m not a foreigner and where I can choose the furniture (sounds silly I know!) and not have to move for at least 30 years. That’s my idol.
Our lives for the foreseeable future are going to be travelling between countries and constantly trying to bridge the divide between what’s going on here and communicating it so that it’s understood back home.
Through it all, I know that God has work for us to do here. He has called us, and He is faithful.
I pray that God would work on my heart so that only HE fulfils my deepest dreams and longings.