Photo by Josiah
When we talk about ‘going into all the world…’ people often respond with, ‘wow you have sacrificed so much.’
I always feel embarrassed. Awkward even. How can I respond to that?
When I think of the ‘sacrifice’ made by the call it isn’t the same as others probably think. Most people think of comforts or family. Maybe a stable job and steady income. That isn’t the biggest sacrifice. When you find yourself crushed and on your knees, pouring out everything to God. When you have no strength for any other prayer but ‘Thy will be done’—that is when you realise the actually the sacrifice is our own will.
Our will…My will…What I want… What I think is best.
Is that perhaps the biggest sacrifice?
I can leave all my possessions behind, I can follow Him to the ends of the earth but when it comes to it, to that moment when we need to fully submit and surrender when nothing else makes sense…yeah that’s the difference between my will and thy will.
I have found myself at this place many times, just as I am sure you have too. But last year it hit me in a much bigger and deeper way than ever before. We lived in a place that many on the outside would have seen as sacrifice enough, just to be there. Not with regards to home comforts – oh we had water and electricity (most of the time). But in other ways with regards to our freedom. However all that changed within a few hours and suddenly we were praying and crying out to the One who led us to that place to allow us to stay. That we could be in our home, with our friends around us and be in a place so familiar that it was our home.
Door after door was slammed in our faces as we reapplied for paperwork that though hard to do, had always been accepted before. Each roadblock that had opened before our eyes previously, like the Red Sea parting, this time around remained closed and impossible to walk through.
As we sought His face, and as we were confused and overcome with so many sad emotions, we realised ‘not my will, but yours be done’ and so our prayer changed to ones that could only be prayed on our knees, looking upwards, with hands open and eyes streaming with tears. Not My will, but thy will be done Lord, thy will.’
Whatever season we are in, whether it is in the leaving our homes to go abroad for the first time, sending loved ones out to the ends of the earth, or some other part of our faith walk, the sacrifice isn’t in the things, it is in our will. But ultimately I would rather say Thy Will Be Done, because truly He knows what He is doing far better than we ever will. If I need to walk through seas, or stand at road blocks, I would rather do it walking in His will, than me going off course on my own.